Bipolar and Peanut Butter Crack Candy.
What??
Yes, that's my heading tonight.
After getting royally screwed over by a doctor years ago, I turned away from everything he ever said - including his diagnosis of what was wrong with me. Over the years I have seen a good doctor for a variety of issues - but I've refused to consider that original diagnosis from so long ago.
So here it is: I was diagnosed as bipolar about 14 years ago. Yes, I do fit the classification(s) to a "t".
Since severing myself from that original quack, I have also been diagnosed with a "generalized" anxiety disorder (that's a given) and PTSD (post-tramatic stress disorder), also kind of a given. I've been focusing on those two and ignoring the bipolar because I hated the thought that ANYTHING that bastard said might be even CLOSE to being right.
So here I am, announcing to the world - a world of strangers who mostly don't give a flip - that I believe I was wrong to throw out the bipolar diagnosis simply because I threw out the doctor. Fact is, lithium worked for me. So I've spent the last 13 or so years barely clinging to sanity while trying to live a somewhat normal life.
My somewhat sudden flight to Texas this summer - leaving behind everything I know - is a sign of my problems. A Britney Spears-like issue, if you will. This spring, I will do my best to move back (providing I can come up with the funds). This time, however, I'll go back armed with the acceptance that I'm royally screwed up. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, now that I'm accepting that original diagnosis.
Now, onto the crack candy.
My best friend sent me her family recipe. I call it PB Crack Candy because it's made out of powdered sugar (so it's white), it's hard (but not too hard), it has peanut butter AND I've found it to be the most addictive substance known to (wo)man next to chocolate. I'm amazed how much of this crap I can eat and it doesn't have a drop of chocolate on it!
Okay:
1 lb of powdered sugar (confectioner's sugar) - aka one box
1-2 raw egg whites (however, water can be used instead)
peanut butter
Poor powdered sugar into a bowl. Add just enough egg whites or water to the mix to create a dough. BE CAREFUL! A little liquid goes a LONG way with powdered sugar!! Use your hands to mix dough.
Dough should be firm enough to knead like a bread dough, but not so dry that when you roll it out and roll it up it cracks.
Which leads us to the rolling: using a rolling pin, roll the dough to about 1/8 inch thickness. Wax paper is recommended for this part. You may want to VERY LIGHTLY spray the paper with "Pam" to help keep the dough from sticking. If the dough seems too dry, add a little more egg/water. It shouldn't be too sticky, either. You don't want it to stick to the rolling pin (powder rolling pin with powdered sugar before you begin rolling!).
Once rolled flat, spread a generous layer of peanut butter on the dough.
Carefully roll dough into a tube shape - hopefully about 1 inch in diameter. If dough sticks to the surface it was rolled on, use a spatula to carefully loosen the dough.
Cut roll in half so that you have two short tubes. Slice off pieces of desired thickness from the center towards the ends. Eat the ends immediately as they will probably look retarded and you need the hide the 'tards - in your stomach.
Lay out overnight or put in the fridge overnight. Candy will harden more in the fridge, but it won't get too hard. If you use raw egg whites, you may want to put it in the fridge. Up to you.
Eat. Eat many of them. Cry when you run out. Make more. Repeat as needed.
